Seven Dating Tips: Online Dating and E-mails by Sara Musfeldt

You winked, he winked and wrote an e-mail saying "What's up?" So now what do you write? I'll tell you what not to write: "Nothing. What's up with you?

There are seven things you should avoid or be sure to do in your e-mails. This is a list of them.

Don't wait for the other person to get the conversation going. Take initiative, make it happen. There is no area in your life where it pays to be passive. If you're interested, write him an e-mail saying, "I'm interested in getting to know you. Tell me about the boldest thing you've ever done and I'll tell you mine."

Ask questions. Lots of them. Dating someone who talks too much about him or herself can be a huge turnoff. Wait to be asked questions before you go into the "About Me" speech. He saw your profile so he already knows a little bit about you. If you ask your date why he lived in Japan or why David Sedaris is his favorite author, chances are he'll be psyched that you're asking.

He should be guessing about you, but not for too long. He may start looking for his next match if you wait too long to return an e-mail. You will lose your intrigue if you don't write him back within a few days telling him about the boldest thing you've done especially since he told you his. If he asks you out or for your number, quickly respond.

Avoid an e-mail affair. When you log into your e-mail it's exciting to see three e-mails from the interesting, new guy who gives great e-mail. It's disappointing, though, to meet Mr. Great E-mail Guy and have zero attraction to him. Instead of falling for the online version of him, meet him after the first five or so e-mails so you won't be bummed to lose your e-mail lover.

Avoid copying and pasting. My friend sent the same e-mail to all of her matches. Once she sent the same e-mail to someone twice AND she forgot to change the name at the top. She obviously didn't hear from him again. It may be tempting, but it's too easy to make mistakes.

Just the right size. One complaint a lot of men have about women is that they talk too much. Although I've seen studies showing that men talk more than women, I do know from experience that some guys get freaked out by "chatty Patty." Don't write a long e-mail until he does. Once he does (if he does) then you'll know he has the patience for it. I suggest keeping the e-mail to two short paragraphs.

Write a follow-up e-mail. This is personal preference, but I think it's nice to get a follow up e-mail after the first date. Even if you're not interested, it's just a nice thing to do.

About the Author: Sara Musfeldt operates a blog filled with dating stories and dating profile tips for everyone. Sara has also produced an online dating advice to help singles everywhere find love.


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